My biography would be titled Unsent Letters Of a Raving Lunatic.  However, isn’t that exactly what a blog is?  Only the letter is “sent”, just not to the specific intended recipient. 

On Forgiveness

As I made lunch today I realized how nice it is to glean something good out of a bad situation.   What spurred that thought you may ask?  Well… it was salad dressing.  The best salad dressing I’ve ever tasted.  End of story.  River House Blue Cheese dressing.  I love the dressing enough to forgive him for any tears I may have shed into my salad over what was not to be. 

I was introduced to this wonderful condiment via a guy who was a potential love interest that didn’t ever come to fruition.  That’s a pretty flowery way of explaining the crappy stuff he did before we actually transitioned from friends into anything more. But this post isn’t about him.  It’s about the dressing.

I maintain a deep and abiding love of this salad dressing.  This love grows with every bowl of fancied up rabbit food that I consume.  Like any true love you always have something to learn about them.  For instance, how the blue cheese bits pair so perfectly with garbanzo beans and romaine, and how sunflower seeds compliment the Parmesan herb variety.  

On Online Dating – Also known as the OK GO folder

 I’ve got a folder in my e-mail called “Ok-Go” for a very personal project.  One borne from a couple of bad romantic experiences, and being so stinking lonely even the dog said I was getting a little clingy.  So at the urging of a friend, I posted an online dating profile.

I learned a few things through the whole experience.  For starters, I have a terrible opinion of myself.  When asked to describe myself, do you know what I immediately think?  Can’t spell, has poor math skills and needs to lose some weight.  Oh yeah, doesn’t know how to use a hanger and spends too much money on projects.

I also learned there are a great deal of men out there who believe that by using online dating they can automatically bypass the whole getting to know a person bit and move right onto the question “when can we have sex”.  Some of them try to make it funny, or to make themselves seem vulnerable, but there are some who are outright aggressive and want to know the particulars of how dirty of a girl you are.  This is especially baffling when your profile says a bunch about your favorite author and nothing about whether you like to be tied up and spanked.  I guess it works on the Naked Man principal… eventually someone will take you up on your filthy filthy offer.

I also learned something about myself… flattery is addictive.  Cause it’s pretty awesome to open your e-mail and find three or four messages from guys who think your kind of cute, who and also like Douglas Adams and fresh baked bread.  But no matter how many of those profiles I looked at there was always something missing for me.  Yes it’s true, I would love to meet someone and share my life and passions with him.  But I want us to have our religious convictions in common.  Even though it was a seriously great shot in the arm to realize that even if I don’t think I’m so awesome, some random men on the internet saw my picture and could come up with a compliment or two.

I closed out the profile and decided that should there be a truly great guy out there for me, at this point, I’m probably less likely to meet him online.  However, if I ever decide that I would like to get high, painted with honey and ravished by a man old enough to be my father… I know where to go.

Current thoughts on being single

They are both over 55, and every time I see them together I keep hearing the Beatles song “When I’m 64” playing in my head, and I feel this serene feeling overcome me.  Because I will gladly wait till I’m 64 (or older) to find a someone who makes me that happy.  But then again, I kind of hope it happens sooner than 64.

In truth, I wouldn’t be terribly opposed if it happened before 34.

I asked her one day how she knew he was the one, and she told me that she had a list of things she wanted from a husband.  She wanted him to be kind & affectionate.  To be independent (not a gold digger).  And to love Jehovah more than he loves her.  She also on a side note said she hoped he would get her an engagement ring since she’s never had one.  Lo and behold… there is a check mark beside each one of her requirements.  (Oh, and the check mark near the engagement ring request is big, sparkly, and bright.)

That conversation made me think about the list in my head, and what items on that list are “core”.  Turns out the core group of items are pretty similar to hers.  And there are a few side items that I’d like to supplement the basics.  I’ve grown up enough to know that some of the things I used to think were important… aren’t.  Things like having a dominant left hand, or blue eyes, or an Australian accent.  I’ve dropped those in favor of things like honesty, good communication skills, dealing well under pressure, and not having an unhealthy relationship with drugs & alcohol.  Oh yeah, it would be nice if he thinks I’m pretty awesome too.

So even though there are a bunch of negotiable traits on my list, the basics kind of give you an idea of a decent man.  And in return for dropping a bunch of negotiable traits off the list I have for him, I trust he will drop some of the negotiable traits off his.  But until then, I’ll be staying busy, working hard & treasuring the friends I have.  Plus, I’ll be taking pictures of the 55+ wedding.  I just hope I can capture that happy spirit well enough in the photos.